he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
