Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize