idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
