If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
