I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
