Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So squirting runs in the family.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My penis needs a shock collar
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Randomize
