carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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