Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How naked do you want me to be?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
