Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
