I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
