I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize