i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
