maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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