Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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