Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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