just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
