theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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