12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
