with your own penis?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
