People in love make me want to vomit
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
