Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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