Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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