...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
