from now on my penis is your penis
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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