Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
