____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
