Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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