he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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