Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Someone signed my nipple.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
