Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize