I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
