SEEEEXXX PLEASE
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize