Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
