I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
