Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
