and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize