I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize