So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
