I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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