You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
