i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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