I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm passing your future prison.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
