Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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