I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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