We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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