i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
