STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
