Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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