dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
