susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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