Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
