Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
