Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just found puke in my bra..
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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