that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
