sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
